Interview With A Paddy: St. Patrick’s Day FAQ

The following is a transcript of a fictional interview I was commissioned to do with Foreigners Magazine, a weekly publication which helps foreign people understand other cultures and traditions. On Wednesday March 13th I sat down with Johnny Foreigner (the founder of the magazine) to give him my thoughts on the culture of St. Patrick’s Day, Irelands national holiday, which grips Ireland and the world, every March 17th. Johnny is a fictional character, mostly a composite of my own xenophobia and his questions are based on years and years of me hearing similar questions from people of various nationalities that I have encountered on St. Patrick’s Day. I imagine he speaks like Manuel from Fawlty Towers. His grammar has mostly been corrected for the purposes of easy reading.

Johnny Foreigner: So Cian, you are here to talk to us today about St. Patrick’s Day, a day which I and all of my readers hold dearly to our hearts. All of us remember our first Patty’s Day, walking into a -… Continue reading

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